Kurt Guntheroth
Software Engineer and WriterAugust 1
I got fired within 2 days. Why would I get fired so fast?

From worst to best:

You were so grossly incapable of doing the job that it was obvious in two days. You would know if that was the case.
You lied on your resume, but it took the background check two days of employment to come back. Again, you would know.
You were such a complete a**hole that everybody else threatened to quit if you didn’t get fired. Did you get into a bunch of arguments during your two days?
The company’s actual first choice, who had been out of communication, called in and said they wanted the job.
The company’s business plans changed, and although you were the perfect candidate, the position no longer exists. Sometimes people don’t get the memo until it’s time to shutter an office.